Sad to say this is Top Gear’s last episode in the series so that means we have to wait a few more months before we get our weekly dose of real Top Gear action. In the words of Clarksonius: “The stupidest car in the world. A Vauxhall you might actually like. And who has won what in the Top Gear ceremony.”

The show opens with a feature on a possible cure to Jeremy’s insomnia – a reference to Lexus cars being among the most hum-drum cars ever built. But what Richard has one the track is not an ordinary Lexus. It’s the Lexus LF-A. Richard goes through the usual bits – 552 HP, 0-60 in 3.7 seconds. 202 mph. A 4.8L V10 the size of a V8 and as light as a V6 which is so lively that it needs a virtual rev counter since an analog won’t be able to keep up. It’s a great and sharp car to drive but the performance won’t be able to justify the price tage of £340,000. It’s lap time: 1:22.8 (W) – the fastest wet lap, 3 seconds faster than the Lamborghini Gallardo but costs thrice as much.

For the news, well there isn’t any since they filmed the episode (as they claim) on December 9. So insted, they offer their takes on the cars to look forward to for 2010. Here’s the list – Jaguar XJ, Aston One-77, Honda CR-Z (that’s a Z, not a V, Jezza) which they call an organic tofu dressed up as a steak thanks to the sporty design and hybrid powertrain), the Saab 9-5 (if Saab doesn’t go bust), Porsch 911 Cabrio, Citroen DS3, Porsche 911 GT3 RS, and the Ferrari 458 Italia.

Inside the studio, they feature three interesting personal mobility electric vehicles like the Gocycle (an electric bicycle which required assembly), an electric skateboard, and something that looks like a pair of skis mounted on wheels controlled by handlebars like you’d find on a bike.

Now they again, play the “It’s the end of the year and we have no more money left” card yet again. So they “ask” Jeremy to make a cheap and simple film to review the BMW X6 – a CUV/sports activity vehicle. The funny thing about the segment is that Jezza travels the world in order to test some trivial pieces of the car or just to find some reference to it. Like to test if the split openening glove box works in the southern hemisphere, he travels to Australia (and it can). To tets if it can handle snow, he drives off to the Alps (and it can’t). To find a metaphor for something not beautiful and not practical, he goes to Hong Kong. And to compare if the £1500 it costs to run it in a year is better use on the car than a trip to Barbado (and it isn’t).

The star in the reasonably-priced car is Amercan blues guitarist Seasick Steve. Not really into the interview but Steve gave a short performance. His timed lap on a moist track – 1:51.8 which places him somewhere in the bottom third.

Now, James’ segment is up and he blames Hammond and Clarkson for not having any money left to make his film. He drives the Vauxhal Insignia VXR – the turbocharged Vauxhall that can do 0-60 in 6 seconds, packs 321 hp, and 4WD. In Jame’s words, it’s a “de-chavved” VXR. As an added feature, James interviews graphic designer Margaret Calvert who designed Britains road signs.

Now on to the Top Gear Awards:

Injury of the Year – Richard in the Hammerhead Eagle Thrust-i, Jezza while making the paintball art and James on the gangplank on the Amazon barge. Winner: Richard and James banging their head on the in-cabin light in the Porsche Panamera – something that they’ve always put in cars while filming.
Fastest Celebrity – AC/DC’s Brian Johnson
Car of the Year – New Volkswagen Polo, Kia Cee’d, Suzuki Alto. Winner: Lamborghini Gallardo Valentino Balboni because of the stripe.
Forklift Driver of the Year – They show a couple of clips showing forklift accidents. Winner: the driver who smashes a warehouse full of stuff.
Cock of the Year – James for following a different car instead of the carmera car. Winner: The Stig for locking the doors with the keys inside the Jaguar in their race between a Jag, a steam train, and the Vincent Blackshadow.
Car of the Decade – For its Concorde moment – the Bugatti Veyron (Hey, we got it right!)

We apologize for bringing you the recap, a week late. Holiday break and all. Anyway, last week’s episode was a Top Gear special on their Bolivia adventure where they go from within the Amazon jungle to the Pacific Ocean.

The boys bought 4×4 cars that they’ve only seen on the Internet. Their start-off point is somewhere rignt in the middle of the Amazon rainforest. To get there, the boys ride a boat and wait on the river bank for their cars.

Their cars then arrive via a river barge. Jezza bought a Land Rover. Richard bought a Toyota Land Cruiser. James bought a Suzuki. And as with most of Top Gear companions, the cars aren’t exactly tip-top. The Suzuki’s rear tire’s flat. The Range Rover had 3.5L carby engine instead of the 3.9L . And the Land Rover’s electrical system’s busted.

Their first task is to unload their cars off the barge which was badly “parked” near the bank. They try to push the barge towards the shore but Jezza starts to sink into the river silt. They use the Range Rove to pull him out. With the Land Cruiser dead, they use the whole afternoon trying to jumpstart the Land Cruiser, they give up. So they camp out and wait for the next day to sort things out.

The next day, they finally got a brilliant break by figuring out they can use the barge planks to use as ramps to get the cars on shore. As a reward, the producer gave them a box of things they can use in their trek – a chainsaw, a winch, a rubber tube, a box of condoms, Vaseline, and some Viagra.

With everything sorted out, they blast through the rainforest with Jezza on point. They hack through the rain forest in sweltering heat. And the kicker’s Hammond’s got a real fear of insects. They spend a couple of more days hacking away at jungle, crossing a ravine, and fording a river.

They eventually get into a town where they express their disgust towards the drug trade by writing messages across their cars. Jezza’s reads “I love my septum.” James’ says, “Jesus is my high.’ And Richard’s reads, “Total Wipeout!” plugging his BBC 1 show.

After the town, they have to go up a mountain road, only the road was the most dangerous road in the world – El Camino de la Muerte. James’ car only sports a 1.3L engine and he’s afraid of heights. Jezza runs into a very tight spot along the way where his car’s literally on the edge.

They hit town again where they get a chance to work on their rides. Jezza and Richard swap out their wheels in favor of bigger ones. As usual, James never touch anything. As they prepare for the last legs of the journey (which will take them through an active Volcano), they hit a gasoline station where they pick up some sweets made from coca leaves to combat altitude sickness. And yes, they do contain cocaine.

They camp out again just before they blast through open road only to find Richard’s Land Cruiser’s crankshaft fell off thanks to his car’s ridiculous ride height. They manage to fix it and work their way through the Chilean border. But that meant driving up to heights of 17000 feet. They were totally broken down by the altitude that even taking Viagra didn’t work.

So they go back down to go the long way where the Land Rover again run into some problems. Just when they finally got to see a bit of ocean, they had to go down a very steep dune towards the ocean. In a bit of absentmindedness, Richard gets out of his car without securing it. The Toyota rolls down the dune to its demise leaving the Suzuki and the Range Rover to finish the journey.

The bombshell – the most unreliable 4×4 in the world is the best – the Land Rover.

The show’s packed but not really action filled. In the words of Jeremy Clarkson, “I get scared half to death on our track. We host our own art exhibition. And a world champion is in our reasonably-priced car.”

To open the show, Jezza goes out on the track with the new Noble M600. Unlike most supercars of today, the car doesn’t boast of a carbon-fiber chassis. Instead, the Noble has a stainless steel one. It’s powered by a V8 lifted from the unflattering Volvo XC90. Only Noble had the good sense of twin-turbocharging it.

Its £200,000 price-tag might be seen as a stiff price especially since the car doesn’t even have sat-nav, climate control, and even anti-lock brakes. So what’s wrong with the current line of supercars, some of which can be had at a price much lower than the M600? Well Jezza makes the point clear as he blitzes the car past a Porsche, a Ferrari, a Lambo, an Aston, and a McLaren Mercedes. The car is fast.

It’s top speed is 225 mph thanks to the 650 hp power and 1250kg weight. The car even features a switch that comes from a Tornado fighter-bomber design not to be used by accident. Instead of firing a missile, though, it switches the traction control off. Then Jezza scares himself half to death.

Jezza’s verdict: When you switch the controls to a road setting it becomes a tamer animal and not too difficult to drive. It is quiet and comfortable. There are several reasons for one not to buy one (referring to all the other supercars) but one very good reason to get it (the speed). Around the track in the hands of the Stig, the Noble goes round in 1:17.7 – 4th fastest on the board behind the Gumpert, the Ascari, and the Koenigsegg.

On to the news. The have the Aston Martin Rapide in the studio which James May talks about for a bit. Since it’s Christmas, they feature car-inspired gifts like the RAC Eau de Voiture car perfume (and Jezza accidentally sprays some in his face), turn idicators for people, a Land Rover distress whistle, a Mercedes-Benz shirt (which Jezza sets on fire), a fork that has a 10mm spanner on the other end, an attachment that you slip in your exhaust to make your engine sound like it’s turbocharged, and a Richard Hammond calendar.

On to their main feature – the boys try to creat their own art exhibit. In an ingenious solution to dropping art gallery attendances, the boys set out drawing 30,000 attendees to a Mima gallery exhibit featuring car-related art. In addition to selecting existing art pieces, the boys also set about creating their own pieces.

James tries to create a sculture of his face using old car parts. Richard (who went to art school) tries make a painting of a Pagani Zonda with a small town backdrop. Jezza tries to create a painting by shooting paintballs out of an Red Bull F1 car onto a piece of canvass. He also tries to create a 200mph painting by spraying the F1 car with UV paint and having David Coulthard drive the car so that the paint streaks according to the airflow.

In an expected twist of bollocks, Richard’s painting falls into a pond. James’ sculpture bursts in flames while making it and collapses when an art critic looks at it. Jezza got a piece hit in the crotch by paintballs when they burst through the canvass. In a second attempt to have an art work, they set about painting a car with the theme of painting the inside parts of the car on the outside. They also tried creating another one by cutting the car in half only to find out that the car’s a rental.

Back to the studio for Jenson Button as the star in the reasonably-priced car. This is Jenson’s second time to guest on Top Gear. Fans might remember that Jezza ridiculed Jenson for not winning a race in his first appearance. Hi new lap time: 1:44.9 on a damp track. He wasn’t able to beat Lewis Hamilton’s 1:44.7 in the wet. His old mark was a 1:44.7 in the dry.

On to the last part of the art exhibit feature. In preparation, the boys are handed out tasks. Richard’s supposed to do rounds across radio stations to publicize the event. James has to do an audio guide for the tour. Jezza has to drive the car to the venue. And they cock it up. Hammond just talks about everything else but the exhibit. James makes a confusing audio guide. Jezza drives the car to a ditch.

Still, the exhibit opened and the queues didn’t even exceed 100. So they decided to plug the event at the football match. They appeared on the pitch wearing Newcastle jerseys to the ire of the Middlesborough crowd. A quick costume change and they make the proper plea to the public to drop by the Mima gallery. They drew a large crowd and the shmables that is James’ audio guide.

The exhibit drew only 15,000 – half of what they set as target but still a record for the Mima gallery.

Top Gear returns next week for their South America special.

Fourth episode into the series. And in this episode – “We drive down a sewer. We powerslide across a field. Ad we do some other things as well.

To open the show, Jeremy poses a question on what is the slowest means of transport today. (One audience member shouted “James May!”) But their answer is air travel. Hammond takes over from there citing that largely to blame for the delays at the airport is due to the slow moving airport vehicles. And in order to prove a point, they resurrect an old Top Gear tradition of taking vehicles to motorsport.

They pit a list of airport vehicles in a race and that list includes – an aircraft steps, a luggage trolley, a fuel tanker, a bendy bus, a fire engine, a catering truck and an aircraft tug. Piloting the vehicles are the usual slew of touring car racers – Tom Chilton, Matt Neal, Mat Jackson, Gordon Shedden, Anthony Reid, and truck racing champion Stuart Oliver.

The usual routine of spirited racing ensues. A few laps of sportsmanlike racing and then motoring mayhem and twisted metal from there until the end. Hammond, piloting the fire engine, eventually wins as most of the vehicles concede due to their speed or topple over. Pretty entertaining to see trucks topple over but an average segment at the most.

Cut to the news. Interesting how they address accusations of bigotry right of the bat. After being accused of banning homosexuals from the show, they address it in the usual tongue in cheek manner saying that they do not descriminate against homosexuals especially lesbians but they do have some of the “Village People” standing at the background.

Other topics they discuss – the BMW M5 CSL and the pointlessness of developing a car that they wouldn’t build, sponsors that would make great racing colors (Dunhill, Cooper’s Marmalade, Bovril), and the usual discontent with government idiocy like the government suggestion of turning off all street lights in order to protect nocturnal creatures.

Out on the track Jeremy tries to find out which is the best car to buy if you’re mad. First up is the new BMW X5 M which packs a 4.4L twin-turbo V8 555 hp. It produces so much torque that theoretically it should beat an Aston Martin in a drag race but it didn’t. It’s a silly car (meaning it’s not very good) and probably the best thing about it is the dash interface that tells you real-time to which tires the torque is going.

The next bonkers car is the Audi Q7 that’s equipped with the huge 6.0L twin-turbo V12 diesel. The engine dishes out 738 torque (200 more than a Pagani Zonda R) allowing the car to go from 0-60 mph in 5.5 seconds. And the car packs ceramic brakes, on a diesel. The madness basically lies in the question of why put a V12 diesel when the pont of having a diesel is fuel economy.

Jezza then sneak in a third car to buy if you’re bonkers – the new Land Rover Range Rover. Should be pretty sensible buy if you need a real car that can handle offroading. But the thirst of the 5L supercharged V8 gasoline engine is just not practical for Britain these days. It’s best feature is its camera system that allows you to select views and even zoom in on the image feed.

Back in the studio, they check out a few more things about the Range Rover’s camera system and the Overfinch Holland & Holland Rang Rover. Pretty cool thing about the Overfinch Range Rover is that it’s got so many toys inside, the best probably is the self-replenishing drinks cabinet where Overfinch tops your liquor stores free of charge for 1 year.

Now back to the Q7 and the X5 M where the Stig gets to take them out. The Q7 clocked 1:33.3 (W) and the X5 M clocked 1:28.2 (W),

The star in a reasonably priced car this week is Guy Richie who’s basically there to promote the new Sherlock Holmes movie. Since it’s a block show, they don’t get to talk about Madonna, only a few things about greenlaning and winching and a few other stuff. Guy lapped the track in 1:52.5 on a very wet track and went through 4 sets of tires and a gearbox.

If you’ve been watching Top Gear for the past few years, then you might remember this certain Mr. Needham of Belfast who’s main beef with Top Gear is that the show doesn’t really do normal road tests. Remember the one they did with the Ford Fiesta? Well Jezza’s at it again with the RenaultSport Twingo 133 with the 1.6L engine.

As with the Fiesta, they go through a series of questions.

Is it fast? They pit it against the Fiat 500 Abarth and obviously, the Abarth wins.
Is it economical? Very. Averages 40 MPG but not as economical as the Abarth that gets 43 MPH.
Is it green? No, it’s red. A reference to the color. The Fiesta was green, literally.
Is it comfortable? With the Cup chassis, it’s extremely firm for normal roads.
Is it well equipped? Well you get a radio, aircon, electric windows and door mirrors.
What if i want to go upside down a tunner? Well they went down the sewers, blasted the car at 37 mph and managed to do 1 loop.
Is it practical? There’s space for kids at the back seats when pushed all the way back, and when pushed forward, there’s enough space for Ross Kemp at the back.
What’s it like in winter? They bring it to the Oddesey Arena hockey rink where Jeremy floors it and registers 133 mph on the speedo. Then the ice hockey players play a game. A player bumps into the car leving no dent and the conclusion that it’s high on passenger safety.
What if I’m not a very good driver? Jezza drives over and against fixtures and machinery at a ship yard. At least the parts are cheap.
What if I’m late for the ferry back to England? Jezza blasts the car on the roads to the ferry but misses it by a few minutes. Then he tries to jump it only to fall into the ocean.

A pretty lame show by their usual standards but at least that means the best bits have yet to come. The Twingo segment was okay but not as fresh as what they did with the Fiesta in the past series. And oh, no Top Gear next week.

Third episode into the series and Top Gear’s simply warming up. Not too much action in this one though as the show offers just a portion on ambitious but rubbish and then settles down to become a sort-of “proper” motoring program. In this show – James Wears a stripey jumper. Richard drives a stripey Lamborghini. And they name the greatest car maker in the world.

First up, is the comeback of the old Top Gear nemesis – the caravan. The boys simply just loath the caravan and it traffic-jam inducing abilities. They take a proactive measure this time, instead of smashing them up, James intends to solve the whole caravan thing by taking to the air. Remember that old news bit about James crashing into some trees in an airship, well this episode is it.

James takes a caravan and turns it into an airship. The solution’s supposedly simple. One friend drives a car to the caravan grounds another to drive a car. So while James negotiates the airways, Richard takes to the roads in a caravaner’s car – the Lamborghini Gallardo Valentino Balboni.

Along the way, James finds out that the caravan airship doesn’t do too well against 13-knot winds and has a top speed of 17 mph, forcing him to call Hammond to change to a series of nearer venues. That prompts Richard to drive the Lambo from Dorset to Kent to Essex and then to Suffolk. James also has a nasty taste of air traffic as he wanders into an airport. When James finally reaches the caravan park, he finds trouble landing the craft as crosswinds blows his airship into a patch of trees. As always, this caravan airship is ambitious but rubbish.

Next up is the news. Just a few items in this week’s news as it’s a slow news day for car-related stuff for the past month now. Anyway, they briefly talk about the upcoming Danish Supercar – the Zenvo, the baby who was born in a Kia, who eventually was named “Kia” and was awarded by a Kia a Kia, and the 50 mph speedcams implemented along the stretch of the M1 for supposed roadwork when there are no workers around (and how it takes 1 hour 40 minutes away from Jesus – a viewer with long hair and beard).

In their feature segment, they explore the greatest automaker ever. The results of their website survey on which is the greatest according to their viewers:

1. Ford
2. Volkswagen
3. BMW
4. Jaguar
5. Alfa Romeo
6. Mercedes-Benz
7. Audi
8. Land Rover
9. Lamborghini
10. Ferrari

But Top Gear’s pick is – Lancia. I had. Subaru and Mitsubishi has only won the WRC a handful of times, but Lancia has won it 10 times. It might have made the worst car in the Beta, but it sure has made many of the best. Cases in point, they made some of the best looking, the first car with a monocoque, a 5-speed gearbox, a car with both super- and turbocharging, production V6, and an electric boot spoiler.

Among the cited best cars are the Aprilia, the Monte Carlo, the Stratos with the V6 Ferrari and three times WRC champion, the 037 – the last two-wheel drive car to win the WRC and beat the Audi Quattro, the Thema 832, and the Lancia Delta Integrale which won the WRC six times.

For a bit of kicks Jezza and Hammond tests how a Lancia HPE tests against another bad car – the Morris Marina. Jezza drives the Lancia and Hammond, the Marina, in a supposed endurance race around a rally stage. As a precaution (part of a running joke on pianos falling atop Morris Marinas), Hammond drives his Marina with a piano already strapped on top of it. Eventually, after some “spirited” racing from the two, Hammond’s Marina breaks down and as he steps out to fix it, a piano drops on top of the Marina. As for Jezza, his engine compartment bursts into flames.

The star in a reasonably-priced car this week is Chris Evans (the BBC presenter, not the model/actor American) who is simply a mad Ferrari guy. His lap – 1:48.1 in the wet which is pretty good. The 4th fastest wet lap.

Back to the Lancias. Thing is, after the whole rust issue with the Lancia Beta, Lancia went bust. Today, Lancias are under Fiat but if you want a taste of the classic days, you’d have to break your bank to get one. But there’s a cheaper alternative. Jezza gets to the track with a Lancia Stratos kit car – the Hawk HF3000.

The kit car costs £13,000 compared to the £100,000 give or take price tag on the Stratos. The price of the kit car excludes the cost of the engine. It can be powered by a choice of engines the Fiat twin-cam or the Alfa Romeo 3.0L V6. Quite a number of problems with the kit car though, first, the brake got stuck causing Jeremy to take a more cautious route testing it. His conclusion is that everything’s forgivable because critically – the car looks like a Stratos. Around the track, the car goes around slower than the Chevy Lacetti in the hands of a pretty decent celebrity – 1:48.2

Romania is pissed off with Jezza’s comments about gypsies and communism. Top Gear visited Romania for their Series 14 opener where they set out to find the Transfagarasan road (which they eventually labeled as the best driving road in the world).

In the episode, Jezza and the boys continuously referred to the more rural areas of Romania as “Borat country.” Jezza also had a short comment on gypsy violence. Romanian ambassador to the UK, Dr Ion Jinag, was “surprised and disappointed” by those references.

Quite frankly, this whole political correctness thing is getting tiresome. If you can’t take Clarkson’s comments then don’t watch it. Ever heard of blue humor?

Being un-PC has been one of the main appeals of Jeremy Clarkson as a TV presenter. Might as well take him off the air if you’d force him to be politically correct. No petrol/gearhead would want that. Top Gear has got to be the best television show ever.

Source: Telegraph

It’s the second show into the 14th series of Top Gear and in this episode: James drives a milk float. Richard says, “Look out!” backwards and Jeremy cuts his finger on some aluminium.

The show opens with the first part of their feature segment where they attempt to build their own electric car to rival the G-Wiz. Jezza’s in-charge with the syling; James on the powertrain; and Richard, with the chassis and brakes. They basically round up an old TVR Chimera chassis, an electric motor from a milk float, a couple of batteries, and some aluminum sheeting for the body.

The result is “Geoff” which basically looks like a third-world stainless steel Jeep knock-off from the Philippines. At least it seats three (with Richard’s head sticking out like in the Popemobile) and has a cassette tape deck.They test drive it around Oxford, and even on the A34. Eventually, they park it in a field after running out of juice where the car just gets smashed on a tree.

On to the news. The boys talk about a bit of Formula One where Sheffield-based Manor Motorsport will be racing next season; the police buying Mitsubishi i-MiEVs as patrol cars, the effect of cars on men’s testosterone levels, and an invitation to people to write about their opinions on which car company has produced the alrgest number of great cars on the TG website.

We like how the car reviews are now done two at a time where the cars basically go head-to-head. In the review segment, Jezza drives around the track with the Audi R8 V10. The V10 R8 has everything technically right, save for the downside that it’s a “funless” car. Against it, the show features the cheaper and faster and more fun. Around the track, the V10 R8 gets around in 1:21.6 a lap while the Corvette ZR1 does it a bit faster at 1:20.4.

The star in a reasonably-priced car is Michael Sheen who appears in the Twilight: New Moon movie. Jezza and Michael discuss Michael’s film work, his interesting family, and his car history (Datsun Sunny, Ford Orion, and a scooter). Amazingly, Michael is the fastest Welshman on the board with a 1:46.3 lap time – a tie with Gordon Ramsay – despite being jet lagged and driving on a damp track.

Next up is the second part of their EV feature. The car remains almost exactly the same save for a few tweaks. The new improvements include more batteries to which a diesel generator is attached to constantly charge the battery. The car also gets a front bumper and a new name – “Hammerhead-I Eagle Thrust.”

Thinking to sell the car, the boys head out to do some EU standard tests which include a crash test (at 30 mph and the boys as dummies) and a pendumlum test to test the side impact sturdiness. They do a bit of classic filming wizardry to get around the tests.

For the crash test, they drive and move real slow so that it looks like a real crash when played at a higher speed. For the pendulum test, they acted out in reverse (where Richard yells “Twa cool!”) so that it looks just like a pendulum test when played in reverse.

They also subject the Hammerhead-I to drag race involving a Prius, a cyclist, a runner, and a G-Wiz. Richard, driving the Hammerhead-I, jumps the line but maintained a decent speed to come second to the Prius and well-ahead of the G-Wiz.

The car also gets driven on the cobblestone road test where the diesel generator exhaust gets disconnected, gassing the boys. The car also fails to get even to a third up the hill test and gets blown away by the fan in a wind tunnel. To confirm the range, the car is driven flat out around the track by the Stig’s green cousin (wearing an all-green outfit, sandals, and solar panels on his helment). Too bad for him, he gets posioned by the diesel exhausts.

Finally, they send the car to Autocar to be independently test driven. They end the show reading some quotes from the Autocar test drive and the boys close out looking and sounding totally disheartened.

Funny show though.

Top Gear is back with Series 14. With the demise of Fifth Gear, TG is obviously the undisputed king of all motoring shows.

Opening the series is a grand tourer feature where, as Jezza introduces it, “James gets lost in a Lamborghini. Richard drivers over a bridge in a Ferrari. And I wear a small hat in an Aston Martin.”

Their feature segment is yet another take on finding out which is the best grand tourer in the market today set in a quest to find the fabled driving road of Transfagarasan in Romania. You might remember a similar film they did back in Series 10 where they concluded that the best driving road in the world is Stelvio Pass.

This time, the boys head out with cabrios with Jezza in an Aston Martin DBS Volante, Richard in a Ferrari California, and James in a Lamborghini Gallardo Spyder (which the other two argue as the “wrong” car since technically, it’s not a top-down grand tourer). They start their journey at the Grand Hotel where they are given the task to find their way to Transfagarasan.

Along the way, the boys decide to do a Sat-Nav challenge where they have to get to the People’s Palace using their sat-navs. Too bad for James, the Lambo doesn’t have an option for Romania. Needless, to say, he gets miserably lost in the city.

At the palace, a dignitary gives them access to the underground tunnels where they can let their massive engines roar. Jezza devices a decibel test using his iPhone and it turns out that each car dishes out 89 decibels inside the tunnels. And so the first part ends and cuts to the…

News! Just a few items in the news for this show – 1) Bathurst limits spectators beer intake to 24 cans a day due to the increased altercations between fans. 2) McLaren has launched the MP4-12C priced at £170,000. 3) The Porsche Boxster Spyder has a roof like a tent. 4) James challenges Jezza to assemble a PLOO portable carboard potty.

For the car feature, James reviews “cars for bankers” – the BMW 760LI and the Mercedes-Benz S. The BMW has a 6L twin-turbo V12 that dishes out 544 bhp which is mated to an 8-speed gearbox. The Merc packs a 6.3L AMG V8. Both cars pack oodles of technology like night vision and massage seats.

Around the track, the BMW gets a 1:31.2 (W) lap time, and the Merc, 1:32.1 (W). The BMW turns out to be a better car but both Jezza and James wouldn’t have either one.

As for the Star-in-a-Reasonably-Priced-Car, Jezza features Eric Bana who happens to be a major car nut and actually races in Australia. Might be payback for Clarkson’s appearance in Bana’s “Love the Beast” documentary about his Ford Falcon Coupe. A few discussions on racing and Aussies vs. Brits. Bana did a 1:47.5 (W) dethroning Jaime Oliver as the fastest wet lap holder.

Back to the second part of the Romanian getaway. As a present, Jezza buys James a Dacia Sandero which can be had quickly since Dacia is a Romanian automaker. James is quite “thrilled” with its since it has been a running joke in the past series. Too bad for him, he parks it behind a trailer truck which, as expected gets plowed and wrecked. To James “dismay.”

They cover all of Romania’s main motorways but none of them leads them to Transfagarasan. This leads them to explore B-roads and even take detours inside a small village in what they call “Borat country.” In a stretch of rough road, James gets another bit of bad luck when a pick up truck his his Lambo. Minor scruff though but it wrecked the Lambo’s windshield washer.

Night falls and with not a hotel in the vicinity, Jezza decides that they spend the night in their cars. Only in the morning do they find out that they parked at the base of a huge dam.

A few twists in the mountain roads later, the boys finally find the Transfagarasan and for once during the trip, James has the most fun in his Lambo.

Anyway, Series 14 is just around the corner and here’s a trailer (a first of several, we presume) for the brand new shows.

British watchdog Ofcom criticized that particular segment claiming that it depicted a man commiting sucide just before 9PM – a broadcasting taboo in the UK.

Just another group pissed off by Jezza and the boys. Big deal.

Source: Times Online